Ter pulled my coat the other day about the way I talk to chicks, so I thought I’d blog about it and get some feedback.
She says some women in your time find being called a babe and other endearments, offensive. I don’t know why you don’t want to be called babe, babe. Something to do with the women’s movement. Movement? Where did they go? Ter talks about sexism. WTF? Oh man. Sometimes I think every thing I do is a faux pas in the 21st century. In fact, I think my very existence may be a faux pas in your time.
To me, babe means, gorgeous, sexy chick. What can be wrong with that? Hey, I like it when women call me endearing names, like hon and hunk. Makes me feel desirable, and who doesn’t want to feel attractive?
I love babes, um chicks, um the fairer sex, I mean the stronger sex. Aw hell, the female of the species. In my time, women like to be called babe, baby, cutie, beautiful, honey, sweetie -- you get the idea. It’s a good thing. What do they want to be called in your time? Skank, ho?
So I’m taking a little survey here. Do you chicks like to be called babe and other endearments, or do you hate it? And, either way, I’d appreciate it if you’d tell me why. You males of the species, too, chime in, let me know your take on this bafflement. Maybe some pearls of wisdom.
Here’s a video from 1965. See, in my time we all like being called, babe. Get a load of those clothes, though, and the hair on Sonny. West Coast, where else? Is it me, or does he look stoned? I could use a few tokes right about now, myself. But that may not be allowed in your time. . .
So tell me in the comments section. BABE:
Insult
Compliment
Neutral
Other
Samuel McCord wanted me to let you know that the ladies find him too courtly as he was raised in the early 1800's. And you, with a sixties' mindset, happen to be now considered too demeaning.
ReplyDelete"Women," he laughs. "You just can't please them these days."
Meilori, Sam's wife, who some say is eternal, took me out of Sam's hearing. She wants me to let you know that she considers "Babe" a demeaning title, setting her beneath the superior male. I think she speaks for most of the modern women.
Meilori says, "If you wish to win the affections of a modern woman, Mr. West, do not use that term towards them. If you wish to antagonize them, then, by all means, do so. Since Samuel likes you, I ask for you not to address me by that term. I do so hate to kill any of his friends."
You know the blood stains on the steps of those Aztec pyramids? They came from the sacrifices made to her. Thankfully for Sam, she's mellowed some since then. Some.
Good luck in the 21st century, Gardner.
Roland
You're suffering culture shock Sugar. Just how it goes. .
ReplyDeleteI'm an 80's lady (put this in your search engine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQoXyI-PGGw) and sit on the fense over women's lib issues. Like any change, there's good and bad and everyone has their own opinions of which is what.
I don't mind the endearments; depending on how and when they are used and by whom. If you walked into my office and saw me and a guy sitting across from each other and shook the guys hand and called him "sir" and turned to me and said "hey Babe, won'tcha fetch me some coffee" I'd feel like slapping you. You'd deserve it for showing such disrespect.
But if we were co-workers or friends and you called me "babe or honey or doll the same way you said my name or title, I doubt I'd notice at all. In fact, theres a guy at work who calls us female type honey or sweatheart all the time. Pulls the chair out, tucks his shirt tail in when he stands; opens the doors. A real gentleman. Doesn't matter if you're 17 or 70. Some gals take offense.
It's quirky by today's standards; but just a part of his personality.
Now, if we were out on a date - or working ourselves up to making a date - and you called me "baby", I'd just about shivver out of my panties.
Context is the key for me Dude. I call people "dude" all the time. It offends some, pleases some, but mostly, people just tease me or ignore it.
You are from a different era Gardner.
As long as you're not deliberately meaning the "endearments" as a put down - then I say just be who you are. Those chicas that don't like the old fashioned lingo weren't gonna roll with ya long anyhoo.
.........dhole
Thank you guys for the thoughtful comments. Much appreciated!
ReplyDeleteRoland, also thank Meilori, I think, and thank Sam for pulling for me. He's a great guy. Too courtly, huh? It's tough to measure up in your time. I had no idea calling a chick, babe, could get me killed. Whoa, you live in interesting times.:)
Thanks for the luck. I wish you guys the same!
Donna, Thanks! And I'm so glad you don't mind babe, babe. I always mean it in the nicest sense of the word. I didn't realize that even opening doors could be a bad thing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the video link. Good music and I got some sense of what's been happening.
I never mean to demean chicks. The guys in'64, who do, generally don't call them babe. They use crass words, I'm too much of a gentleman to even consider.
But I get what you mean. Some men use "honey" and "baby" in such a tone of voice, it screams, "Look at me, I'm a complete asshole!" Don't think other guys don't notice this behavior. I don't respect it. It's sneaky and arrogant.
I like what you said about some women weren't going to roll with me anyway. Good way to look at things. To my own self be true, unless it gets me killed, of course:)
Hi Gardner, I agree with Donna down the line. It's all in the context. If you threw a few other endearments around now and again, mixed them in with the babe, that would be even better. You know. To show the level of babeness. Call me sweetie. Or sugarpie. Or dollface. Or honeydumpling. Ugh. No, don't call me honeydumpling.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing the vid, this dame cried as I watched Sonny Bono, young and vibrant and so playfully in love. It tugged my heart strings. Thank you for the memory. And tell them HI from Olivia. Maybe one day you could introduce us. Yeah. That'd be good.
Be you, Gardner,
~that rebel, Olivia
Hey, sweet rebel, Olivia. Thanks! I could call you dollface all night. That pretty curly, golden, red hair and smiling eyes. One problem, in my time, you're jail bait, for sure.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to believe you and Donna even recall my time! Seriously, you two are babes and a half. You must have broken a few hearts in my time and still do.
Yeah, Sonny and Cher, they're great. Glad you enjoyed it. I will tell them, HI, for you. I plan to make a concert.
And thanks for telling me to be me. You keep on being you too, sweetheart:]
Only call me "babe" when I've gotten to know you real well. Otherwise, maybe the only reason you're hanging around me is because I'm a babe. So if we're married, or even boyfriend and girlfriend, you can call me babe whenever and wherever you please! Babe. ;]
ReplyDeleteHowever, you call me a ho, even jokingly, you'll find yourself castrated.
Ooh, did I say that?
Hi Amanda! Thanks for stopping by and letting me know how you feel.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea, kid. Maybe kid, is bad too.
Hey, I never mean to offend. And I would never in my wildest dreams, call you, pretty little one, a ho.
I hope you don't mind being called pretty...
Truce?
Oh, Christ, Amanda! That last post was ME, not Ter. *sigh* I do the best I can in your time. But, hey, I want to be friends with you.
ReplyDeleteOh no, Gardner, you screwed up again. You've got to remember to sign me out. Not to be a nag or anything.
ReplyDeleteOK, my 2 cents. I like when men flirt with me and call me sexy names. But I like flirting with them. I've never had a guy use any endearments in a demeaning manner. If one did, I'd just tell him to get over himself.
Actually, I'm rather hurt you never call me babe. *pout*
I did sign you out, Ter. And I signed me in but your computer threw me off and apparently reverted to form, and I ended up you. You need to figure out how to fix that problem...not to nag or anything.
ReplyDeletePlease stop pouting. I hate it when chicks pout. Granted, it's better than when they threaten to castrate me or spill my blood on the steps of an Aztec pyramid. Still, doesn't it strike you as incestuous for an MC to call his writer, babe?
Course not. Your twisted little mind probably can't get around that. So, OK, babe, you can stop pouting now.
Hey Gardner...call me babe anytime, i actually like it and yeah if it's someone i like i don't mind them using any terms of endearment, i think it's sweet and i do the same. I hope no arguments on that Terry...:-)
ReplyDeleteWild Rose~
Wild Rose, babe:) Thank you! I'm glad you don't mind. Babes help make every century a little easier for men and we try to make things easier for them in return.
ReplyDeleteHi Wild Rose, No arguments from me. Live and let live is my motto. As long as I'm allowed in on the fun, I'm happy:)
ReplyDeleteI would think it marvellous if someone was to refer to me as a Babe now - I' heading on up to that big 60 - I suppose not babe material anymore. But you know what? You can call me Babe anytime you like sugar :) 'Cause I reckon your lips are made of honey...
ReplyDeleteHi Helen! Babe! Of course you're a babe. Anyone who calls me, sugar, is a babe:)
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